I Failed for the First Time in my Course

I was very very low with my self-esteem and my friends are like going away from me because of what I have been doing to myself and still continuing my relationship with J. I was determined to continue my relationship with him until my finals exam day came. I thought I am able to pay the tuition fee for finals exam because I kept my money and saved it for the finals exam. To my dismay, I forgot that I used the money for J! I used it to have his child have the immunization at a certain hospital. Now what am I gonna do? I was afraid to tell my parents about it, but I have no choice... I have been looking for help from my friends and classmates but no one can help me since they paid money too for the exams. It has been 3days since the exm passed. I went home and told my parents about my problem. Since they have no moeny to, they asked my grandma to lend them money for my exams. My grandma of course lend them money but said nasty words to my parents. I was just very quiet, trying to compose myself because I am going to cry. My parents never spoke, they know their place and needed the money for my exams. There was one thing that striked me and like a lightning I answered my grandma, "I will be the one to pay that! Don't you dare tell my parents they are of no use in this world. I know I need the money and we humbly beg you to help us, but if you keep on telling my parents those words from hell, I'll never regret slapping you many times even if I go to jail!" My parents and my grandma were shocked! I was shocked too, so I run to my room and cried. My dad followed and told me it's ok, they have the money and my grandma said nothing more. We went out of my room and told my grandma I am so sorry to what I said, I just don't want my parents being like slapped in the face with what she was telling them. But I assured her I will pay her with that, and all of the things and foods she was feeding my family. Why? Because that is not help for her, she lists it down in her notebook and update us everyday that this is the amount of what you owe me now, when do you think you can pay? We went to school with my mom, she paid my exams. I went to my teacher and presented her my slip for exams. AT LAST! I was able to take the finals exam, 3 days after the exam, which means there will be points deduction to it. I was hesitant to stop my relationship with J because I love him... I was having my duty when the deliberation of grades for finals were done. After my duty, we went to school with my group to know if we passed or not. Well, we waited for my adviser for the news... All of us waited outside the office. After like 2 hours of waiting because of the meeting with the dean, my adviser called me to come inside. And I was the only one who she called... She told me, "Ms _______, I am sorry, you failed. What happened to you? You did good earlier, but why in the finals?" I told her, "It's ok Ma'am, just having some family problems which makes me not concentrate much in my studies and making much absences." She then told me to tell my mom to come and talk to her in school the next day. My classmates had a clue why I was called, becuase I was the only one who had had lots of abences and they know about my relationship. I cried when I went home. I told my parents... They were disappointed at me. I don't know what to do and what to say. I stayed in my room for days with no appetite. I was blaming J for all of this! But actually, I needed to blame myself why it happened to me becuase I have the choice to stop the relationship and continue doing good in school. I texted J and told him we meet. This time now, I was very confident to break up with J, stop my foolishness and quit being stupid.